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What the fuck is up with King Moonrazor?

You might know who King Moonrazor is, but if you do, you probably don't realize it. That's because nobody remembers King Moonrazor. He doesn't make any sense.

King Moonrazor is a lion, and the king of the Island of Misfit Toys in the Christmas movie classic, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. You probably remember the Island of Misfit Toys, and you probably remember Rudolph. You might even remember Burl Ives's singing snowman, but King Moonrazor...

The Island of Misfit Toys is inhabited by toys that nobody wants. And for some reason a lion who lives in a magic castle is the king. He's not a toy, let alone a misfit toy. He's the only living animal on the island. He has nothing to do with the misfit toys, nothing to do with the rest of the story, nothing to do with anything!

What would a lion even eat on the Island of Misfit Toys? I'll tell you what he would have eaten – the first reindeer that happened to come along.

If anything, King Moonrazor represents the illegitimate, inappropriate, and unexplained authority figure that Rudolph has to seek permission or validation from. More likely though, they just couldn't think of a better way to keep Rudolph from living happily ever after with the other misfits. King Moonrazor was probably just a convenient prop to add twenty minutes to the film and get Rudolph and Hermie the dentist-elf to go back to their shitty lives in Christmas Town.

We could have all learned that by finding other misfits, and cooperating in our own radical way, sharing our unique skills, we could create some sort of idyllic lives for ourselves where we are all valued as new and exciting friends. But no. Instead we had to be fed the line that all our trials and tribulations would be for naught if we didn't go back to the same community that shunned and ostracized us, and find some way of turning our differences to their advantage.

Well, screw you, Moonrazor.

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